An Hour to Kill – 4 Movies Hogtied into One – Fitz of Horror Movie Review

Bob Coldicott (Gothic Bob) May 7, 2019

Synopsis- Two assassins-for-hire have an hour to kill before their next hit. To help pass the time, they entertain themselves by sharing horror stories to one another. Which hit-man’s story will be deemed most disturbing when all is said and done?

Aaron K. Carter’s ‘An Hour to Kill’ starts out with the overlaying story of two hitmen; Gio (Aaron Guerrero) and Frankie (Frankie Pozos). Frankie is essentially a pain in the ass, green behind the ears, slacker and jokester. Gio is the exact opposite; the consummate, veteran professional. These two contrast each other in every way. A hit goes belly up and their boss Mr. Kinski, played by film veteran Mel Novak (Game of Death, Samurai Cop 2, Check Point), suggests that Gio better iron things out. Kinski ultimately suggests that Gio off Frankie, as “the rat” couldn’t be anyone else and gives Gio until the end of the day to do so. Gio, not entirely sure about the entire thing, spends some time conversing with Frankie to either reinforce his boss’s wishes or otherwise. In spending time together and having casual conversation, Frankie and Gio go on wild tangents for which the premise of the story lives and becomes segments within this movie.

Valkyrie’s Bunker – It’s the early 80’s but first we are given a little lore/nazi fable concerning Hitler’s kid, which ultimately sets up the first tale. A posse of females venture out to this bizarre place in the mountains hoping for some entertainment/partying. The women split up and start disappearing, before it’s apparent that something evil is lurking. The female cast features a spectrum of personalities; from an empowered feminist to a geeky nerd and then also straight-up big-haired bombshells.

Assacre – Oh boy. Gio and Frankie are getting hungry so they hit up a local Mexican joint where their character behaviors are reiterated. Frankie confirming that he is very excessive, orders two of everything…and also this tall tale. Assacre could best be described the same way, outrageous and overboard. A bunch of nerds compete in a competitive eating contest. Two of the guys, who lose the contest, join forces to get revenge on the victor. Perhaps they go too far when they convince the burrito champ to eat a pepper which has a Scoville unit of “Oregon Trail” proportions. I almost tapped out at this point and my wife didn’t really want to continue watching. If you thought the girls were obnoxious in the last skit, these foodies take the cake.

The last segment, though, is probably the most developed of the stories?

Hog Hunters – A bowling team gets a new guy (Lenny) on their team. They’re hardcore in most things they do and discuss initiating the unaware rookie. From drinking to looking for ladies, these bad boys are giving it their best in trying to convince themselves that ANYONE who’d join would be a “p**sy” compared to them. It’s not long before Lenny regrets even consider trying but he sticks with them, eventually bailing them out of a crazy predicament. If you’ve ever seen Black Mirror’s ‘National Anthem’ episode, where the politician has to bang a pig, and thought “I’d love to see a crazier Troma-esque short involving pigs and people” this might be your cattle call. Don’t expect to come away with a profound message or reflective thought, though.

We return to our main story and without me giving away too much, Gio’s plate becomes even fuller when Kinski ends up being kidnapped. Will Gio save his boss? Is Frankie to blame for all of this and does Gio end up extinguishing Frankie’s lifeforce?

Carter, whose prior work is the zombie flick ‘Dead Kansas’, has a colorful spectrum here. An Hour to Kill is essentially 3 short movies bracketed by another short. Campfire stories within a story. It’s a concept I like, even though it’s far from original at this point (similar to Tarantino’s Four Rooms and countless others, especially indie). The stories themselves are creative and original…for the most part. They are so wildly different and nonsensical (maybe that’s the fun of it) but the execution leaves something to be desired. I don’t know if I need to see a fat guy shitting himself to death in a tub for more than a few seconds after eating a hot pepper. It’s hard to stretch a story like that (a quick prank at best) into something worthwhile. Actually I could deal with that if some of the components around it weren’t so repetitive or blasé-climactic (people walking into his house looking for him calling his name repeatedly). In retrospect, we have to consider that many of these indie filmmakers strive to be a little obnoxious or intentionally bad with their delivery, sometimes that is the funny (in a Seth MacFarlane kind of way). This is not unlike the John Renna type of humor I just discussed in another review. Execution is everything. What’s funny during a shoot and a close group of friends though, doesn’t always transfer the same way to the audience. The story’s outline is pretty cool and the camera work isn’t bad but a little more effort invested into makeup and special effects (gun flash/fire) could’ve added a lot to this very bizarre mix of wild stories. Honestly, I’d like to see a feature length Valkyrie’s Bunker with a lot of time and love put into it…but often the case with short stories – the development is rushed. In contrast, I didn’t care for the Hog Hunters story but it was crazy and there was more development to it. Assacre is a wash for me. The tie in with “An Hour to Kill” is a little awkward, even if it suits the obnoxiousness of Frankie’s ways.

The great thing about a film like this, is that someone else may feel the exact opposite about any given story within. I’m pretty sure a few friends would laugh their asses (or at least chuckle) at Assacre and tell me I’m crazy about the others. There’s so much here and it’s all so wildly different you’re bound to find the spots you like.

Check out An Hour to Kill on Amazon Prime!